Playing catch up in blog land.

Well it’s been a busy and hot week. Work has had us running our asses off, and it’s been freaking hot. Well at least for me it’s been hot. So that’s why the posting has slowed up when I get too flipping hot I really don’t have the inclination to sit still and type here on the computer, actually I have very little inclination to do anything at all with summer weather.

So the weekend in review as it were….. Friday night we finally got out of the house and went to have dinner and drinks with my god sister. It was a small affair  all of about 6 people tops. All old friends and people we had known long enough that it may as well have been extended family. Everybody brought a little something we got the grill out and had a good old summer BBQ. I cooked and we ate burgers and brats. All in all a good time. Afterwords we went to a little bar my god sister knows of. A little hole in the wall really but something about the joint I and kitten both liked. So we hung out there for a few hours shooting the shit with everyone and playing pool most of the night.  This little venture out and about made kitten and I realize how much we are a couple of home bodies and need to get out more.  We had an awesome time and for whatever reason just couldn’t and didn’t keep our hands off of each other. That continued through the night and when we got home we had some serious fucking to do. Believe you me we did it and then some when we got home..lol.

Then there was last night we had to meet my brother and her boyfriend for dinner in my home town.  It was a belated happy birthday dinner because my mom and her boyfriend were busy the week of my birthday and then my mom got sick the following week. Of course she was more busy with his kids but hey what can I do? (his divorce still isn’t finalized yet) So we go out to eat and actually have a decent time. I got some new jeans and that was about it. Of course we came home and relaxed before molesting the ever living shit out of each other and calling it a night.

Today we’re going down to visit kittens family. I think it’s just a random visit no “reason” behind it  other than haven’t seen you in a few weeks what’s up? But then again the way her mother calls damn near every day to just chit chat (usually when we are eating dinner or watching a movie to boot) I sometimes think of those calls as daily visits. I just can’t conceive of what all could transpire in a 24 hour period that you couldn’t wait a couple days or so to tell people about. But kitten and her mom don’t work like that and it drives me up a wall most days…lol. Even with that though we should have a pretty relaxed day, provided her brother isn’t there with his screaming brats. So I’m just hoping we can visit, avoid her brother, and call it done. Then come home and fuck like mad again..lol.

I’m back but in a rut.

Yep I’m back, I took a few days off from writing in my blog here mainly because I didn’t have a lot to write and wasn’t really in the mood to type if I had any ideas on what to write. I think it is because I feel like kitten and I are in some kind of weird rut and just spinning our wheels at the moment. Our relationship is fine as far as the marriage and all the emotion and what not. It’s the kink side as it always is and always most likely will be the problem area. Don’t care what words you want to use to describe us if we even need description Master/slave, Owner/property, etc etc etc… The terms aren’t that important it’s the actions that matter and define the role.

And action is my point of this post.  If you’ve been reading a while you have an idea where this is headed I’m sure. Kitten again slipping up, it happened she got to comfortable I think. The begging and scenting dropped off the attire for the night has pretty much stopped except for this short, sheer baby doll/nightgown she wears, being more vocal about what she wants, actually asking and dressing up for some anal (Yeah her leather chaps are her fuck my ass outfit) she’s never really done either… etc etc etc. But what you probably weren’t expecting is this time I’m just going to leave it alone.

Seriously why pursue this goal on my part when even though she made the decision to be this way and live this way, when all that is happening is the same slip ups and excuses and I forgot. It’s my role to see she doesn’t forget but lately I honestly just haven’t cared. So we’re both dropping the ball. She has her main stays of… I forgot, I didn’t think you were in the mood, you looked tired, I wasn’t sure so I let it be ……you get the idea. Well lately I have had my main stays of…. I am too tired, I am too sore, I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn so we should sleep and a few others.

So why bitch and complain because I don’t get where she is coming from given this was her choice when I myself am pretty much just doing the same thing. So I figure why go on and on about what she isn’t doing and just simply point out that neither of us are really helping the situation much but at the same time we’re in enough of a daily routine and a rut that it almost is normal to just sit around at night, eat supper, and go to bed and not even think of anything kinky. So the blame rests firmly on both of us and some out there would say more me because I’m in charge I should be leading yadda yadda yadda. To them all I can say is you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make the son of a bitch drink if he ain’t thirsty!

Seriously that is what it feels like around here sometimes. I lead she follows but she aint thirsty so fuck it. On the other hand she sometimes will come on all sex kitten and horny and I’m just like ..yawn I’m tired need sleep now. Like the thought of sex alone is enough to make me want to just crash out. It isn’t because she has lost any appeal to me at all she is to me as hot and sexy and attractive as I have ever found her to be. What it is how ever I couldn’t say because I just don’t know myself.

So instead of saying fuck it and going off on a rampage and pulling cuffs and collars left and right like I used to, I think I’m just going to sit back and see what happens from here. Either it will get corrected some how or it won’t. I’d like to be more positive about the out come here but kitten and I have been here before time and time again. So I’m not going to play broken record here I’m just going to watch and wait. No punishments no lectures, just eh..okay,,,drop the leash..run if you like … either you quit running or you don’t.

Oh I can address the problem till I am blue in the face, I can threaten, talk, cajole, bribe, and lecture with the best of them. But why do all that when I know it doesn’t work? So I’m now going to let her have her run and maybe once it is all out of her system she’ll settle down and accept what she has chosen, for my part it’s just an old well worn road with this issue that I almost hope at times everything gets restructured just to save us both the headaches. then again I remember we have restructured things before around here and the wind up with much the same result. Damn what happened? We used to be so different.

Another year older

Ah yes another year of my life gone by, now I’m 34. Truth be told I don’t feel much older than when I was say my mid 20s. I think a hell of a lot differently now than I did back then, but I don’t feel much different. I don’t know what it is but with each passing birth day I almost expect to feel some kind of change or see some kind of noticeable difference in the mirror. No real reason to it or anything like that I just have always been that way for as far back as I can remember. And each year I’m disappointed because it is the same old me sitting there looking back. For the life of me I couldn’t say why I’m disappointed I know that nothing has changed, so I don’t know what the hell I expect by doing this every year but I do it any ways.

Aside from that messed up look into my psyche today has been an alright birthday I guess. Of course I had to work today but it was at least a normal shift and by that I mean 8 hours for a change. We finally had some down time in the shop which allowed us to get some crap done but we’re going to be doing it for awhile if it’s ever going to get finished. So after work I went and picked up kitten, we came home and chilled with some dinner. Now we’re just relaxing and enjoying some down time together.

Got some calls from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, and this weekend we have to split it up between the families. My mothers on Saturday for a weekend belated birthday dinner, and then Sunday to see her folks both her mom and her dad. Then the weekend after that we’re supposed to get together with one of my oldest friends  (Like we knew each other from birth) and hang out at some point. So it’ll be awhile yet before I finally get some quality alone time with kitten for an entire day.

Not much of a weekend

Well I had an early ass day on Friday and it kicked my ass to boot. Then Friday night I get a call about a half hour before I was going to go to bed. It’s my supervisor calling to ask me if I could run out that night to pick up a couple guys on a job site and bring them back to the shop once their job was done. He was supposed to have done it but turns out he was getting hammered that night and didn’t want to do it. So I get about 3 hours sleep when the phone rings at about 3AM and it is the guys I’m supposed to get from the job site. So I head on out and some time around 6 AM we’re able to get out of there. Of course I come home and crash out big time damn near slept all day Saturday. Then this morning I had to go in at 6 AM to do a local job with a couple of other guys. So yeah not really much to my weekend or any real day off.

Kitten has been incredible though she knows I’m stressing, so she is taking care of me with a nice combination of TLC and Fucking my brains out today..lol. No seriously she was an insatiable little slut today. She also got all her piercings played with and I must say the reactions were pretty damned nice to witness and hear.It was major stress relief for us both, due to how everything has been so last minute and cracked out lately.

Then to top it all off my birthday is coming up and I never look forward to that. I don’t know what it is exactly that puts me off to my birthday. I mean yeah okay I’m getting older and I hate to admit that to myself but it’s a fact. So I’m older and another year closer to death so the solution is lets party? I don’t know sounds like a reversed wake concept to me in a way but then again I’m weird.

More of the same

Life hasn’t been that exciting around here lately. Mostly it’s just go to work, come home, eat dinner, chill for a few hours, go to bed, rinse and repeat. We are starting to live for the weekends these days. Well at least when one of us doesn’t have to work on the weekend any way. Kitten had to work last weekend and it looks like I’ll be working this weekend. So all in all we’re just looking forward to chilling out come Friday night and Saturday. Which of course leaves for very little material to go ahead and write about here in blog land.

I could report that kitten is still doing her above board service and is still showing she wants this. I could also say that her piercings are healing up fine and that oral sex on her now has a real new twist with the piercing in place. And that would be about all I have that is really new. Hasn’t been a lot of time for much lately. When we have had time we have had to divide it up between friends and family, so we just have to play the waiting game and wait for work as well as friends and family to die down a bit.

Oh I almost forgot the situation with my mother has finally changed. Apparently her boyfriend finally served his ex with divorce papers. This sent all kinds of happy and joy through my mother and all kinds of dread through me. Cause now I know the shit will well and truly hit the fan when she starts needling him about when they are going to tie the knot together. And that ladies and gents is when I duck for cover and watch with an amused look at the poor bastard who put himself in my moms life.

Ahh Monday down..now to last the rest of the week.

Well went into work at 6 AM this morning to be on the job site at 8. It was a big publishing company and we had to do all the catch basins. So we were running all over this huge complex dragging hose and sucking out all kinds of shit for about 7 hours. Tomorrow we have to be at the shop at 4:30 AM to be back at the same place by 6 to go ahead and clean out as well as jet their grease traps from their huge ass cafeteria. That is not going to be a fun day, but hopefully it’ll go by as fast as today seemed to.

Not much happened this weekend we went to a friends house on Sat and kittens dads on Sun. Pretty laid back and relaxed for us even with the little running around we had to do.  Not a whole hell of a lot really going on here and with work being the way it is probably won’t we be until the weekend again. I think that is the one thing that pisses me off the most about  where I work. The fact that there is never any kind of reliable schedule so much there is fluid and changes so much from day to day that no plans can ever be made around work.

So I rarely know what is going on until I get there and then we bust our asses to get the jobs done. Which usually means that kitten just winds up curling up to me at night instead of all the sex she is geared for and has gotten used to over the years. Still to her credit she is being a good girl and maintaining her place nicely. Still watching her tone, asking permission for things when she knows she should, and of course keeping up with her daily routines around here. I have decided however to try and make a go after one more job opening. If it goes through then I’ll be able to leave where I am at and get on a normal schedule I can make plans around. If not how ever I’ll just have to ride it out where I am because as shitty as it may be in the end it is still money and that is what we need.

Saturday at last.

Well the weekend is here not that it ever seems to last long enough. We’ve had a pretty relaxing day. Kitten had to work for a few hours this morning, but was home by noon at least. This afternoon we went over to a friends house for dinner. Nothing too terribly exciting there, he and I mainly talked about movies, video games, F/X and his going back to school. Seems he wants to go back to doing medical work and is going for an RN position as opposed to the med tech position he used to hold. Good for him and more power to him if he can pull it off.

Found out last night that kitten having a VCH has some interesting reactions when she is being eaten out. She was writhing and dripping all over the place last night as she was being eaten and finger fucked. It was hot, I don’t know I just like to hear that moaning and heavy breathing when I’m going down on her. Just something about it when she is vocal that is a nice turn on. Waiting for a few more months before I can pop one of those nice pierced nipples in my mouth is going to suck ass though. Granted now I can’t use the threat of piercing her with my teeth when I’m molesting her but oh well.

Been thinking about the whole job angle thing lately and I think I’m going to try for one more position or interview with the city, as bus driver. If that doesn’t pan out then I’m just going to bear down and stick it out at my current job until the economy picks back up and more jobs become available again.

That way I’m not burning any bridges also I will have a longer period of time under my belt at my current position which makes a person more desirable to new employers. We’re still going to be saving up for a second car no matter what. We simply have to because kittens job is moving to about 30-45 minutes out from where it is now. With her schedule and mine there is simply no way to get everyone to and from their desired locations on time with just one car. So that’s the weekend update so far hopefully this weekend won’t be too eventful and I won’t be called in on any spills. Keeping the paws crossed here.

Is it Friday yet?

Holy hell what a day. Honestly it was only about 10 hours today at work but we had a spill to respond to which always makes the day seem so much longer and drawn out. Family life is getting interesting. For those who haven’t been keeping track, my mother has a boyfriend who is separated and has been for 10 years from his wife. How ever he is NOT divorced as of yet. Making my mother the so called “other woman”, well my mom is a co dependent anyway so she has been clinging on for the past two years now.

So she keeps giving him a push here, a hint there, a full blown yelling and screaming match in all areas in between in the hopes that she either gets through to him or he gets a clue which amounts to the same thing in reality. The end result is legal separation of assets (divorce) so that he is free and clear just so my mother can…MARRY him! dun dun dun!!!!  Yeah so it has been fun at work lately hearing him bitch about her and listening to her bitch about him on the phone when we talk. Of course depending on who is on my good side that day I may feed one side some information that the other let slip.

I know I know I said when all this started I didn’t want to be caught in the middle and my mother trying to drag me into this as her spy was the LAST thing I wanted… But I’m a simple, some would say shallow, always crass caveman. I take my joys from where I can get them, if ratting one person out to another entertains me for a bit and gets me favors to call in later, well shit than so be it. I never claimed once to be better than that. As I’ve always said…yes I’m a prick, an asshole, a fucking jerk even at times, but hey at least I can admit it.

the end result.

Well kitten it seems( according to everything she says and writes anyway), has given up the idea of going into the military. Will this last? Who knows, she swears up and down it won’t happen again. For the most part I have to say I believe her, for the most part, however I know her curiosity and can see it coming up again in the near future.. For now though I’ll just be happy with the result thus far and call the subject closed.

Aside from that life around here has been pretty  normal in every sense of the word. I have been just too damned tired or sore to even contemplate kink most nights. It sucks to because my mind will be going …wooo hoo nookie!!!!…….and my body pretty much replies…fuck off asshole no way no now, not without  medical grade muscle relaxants! At which point my mind sees the wisdom of the body and agrees but secretly swears to get even. This has no effected kittens actions around here how ever. In the past when things started to slide in the bed room with sex being not as frequent she acted out. Now she is maintaining a certain level of performance and it is great to see , she is showing a great deal of improvement and willingness to maintain her collar.

So on that front I have no complaints what so ever. (Don’t get a big head kitten I’m proud of you but don’t get cocky now.) Her piercings are healing up great  she says the VCH is already all healed and the nipples are coming along nicely. A short post today I know but I don’t have a lot today.

Conversation last night

General warning this post will contain opinions and views I know for a fact are not shared by one and all. As such I simply ask that if you do read this post don’t leave comments simply for the purposes of arguing/debating/starting a fight. Because I can assure you just as strongly as you may feel about this topic matter I feel equally strongly about my point of view and we can go back and forth for days without anyone getting anywhere. So let’s save ourselves the headache in advance and just not go there period.

So what is the subject matter? Military service. Kitten and I had a discussion not to long ago about her going into the Navy, my reply to such was just flat out no way around it hell no. I answered this way not because I don’t think she could do it or make it work or even excel at whatever she did there, I answered because of what I have seen military service do to family members of mine.  My grandfather was in WWII for the army he was assigned to pick up body parts after the battles he came out of it with severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder, my father was a Marine he came out a abusive, womanizing, alcholoic, and an extended family member (through moms 2nd marriage) and his wife were both in the Navy. they started out as decent cool people to know before they went in and came out total egotistical, self centered, I’m better than you assholes.

Now those are 4 real good examples that stick out in my mind of why the hell not to go into service. I get that in basic they have to break you down to build or re build you into what they want. But what they want and who you leave as VS. who you come back as are two way different things. So with all this in mind what does she do last night? Approaches me on the subject of going into the Navy as a reservist not active with the logic of “it’ll be okay it’s just office work. It’ll bring in more money, we can save for stuff faster etc etc etc.” Then turning around and telling me that she thought the whole no way in hell thing was directed only at active service not reserves.

So first off to me this screams I gave her collar and cuff back to early by far. Otherwise this wouldn’t be an issue. But this has been her “dream” since little on. See where I had pretty much negative experience with those in the military she had mostly positive experiences with those in her family who were in the service. So she is all gung ho and looking at me like I’m crazy for even thinking such things could go wrong.

So it comes down to this in my book. She goes, she goes obviously the collar and cuff mean little to her where this subject is concerned and she will go and do this without my total backing and support. She is on her own with this one. We will still stay married and what not but I will have NO involvement what so ever in anything having to do with her in any branch of service. She can do whatever I don’t want to hear about it, I don’t want to know a damned thing, I will pick her up and drop her off as needed and that is the extent of my involvement with her in the service.

She has no patriotic spirit to think of, hell half the time we’re debating moving to Canada, she is too god damned vain and the uniforms would make her probably gag, and she has a proven track record of having problems with discipline just here at home in the slave category, I don’t think she is going to work real well with people whos job it is to yell at her all the time to motivate her in boot. Also when you come down to it in my mind you can only serve one Master. Granted it is a group as opposed to an individual but that group says jump and you say how high, but the point remains it is another Master, and that I really can’t abide.