I am a movie Nazi!

Yeah you read the title right a movie Nazi. This is a title my friends and my pet have bestowed upon me for being a basic nerd in my own rights. See I read and always have read a lot. From books to comics and everything in between. Not to mention I have seen more movies than pretty much everyone I know. So why the title movie Nazi?

Well it’s simple I go to certain films for the soul purpose of seeing how bad they fucked it up. Mostly movies based on comics and books. I’ll give a few case in points….. The X men series…I couldn’t stand them! Why because the team was all wrong rouge should have been older, Sabretooth and Wolverine have a long history together and what do they do when they meet in the first film? Act like they have no idea who the hell each other are. Ice man should have been older, Jean Grey and Scott summers should have been about the same age, Mystique never looked like that, Magneto was to old, Juggernaut is not and was never a mutant He was a magically enhanced human read the books for more info, Multiple man was a good guy and a member of X Factor etc etc etc. they basically raped the franchise took a bunch of half ass ideas and tossed em on screen with pretty special effects and declared it a great movie.

My hatred also stems out to George toy bitch Lucas and his new star wars trilogy. Mostly because he said he touched up the originals and did the new trilogy so that it would be true to his vision. Uhmmm okay but if you wanted your vision up there in the first place why the hell did you allow other folks to direct Empire strikes back and Return of the jedi???? Then go and hire that fucking twit of an actor to play bitch boy Anakin Skywalker who actually made Luke look bad assed because he wined more through out the new trilogy than Luke ever did. Then they went and shit on one of my all time favorite characters Boba Fett. See I as I said I read a lot. I read the Fett trilogy where he climbed out of the sarlacc pit and got himself back on track, I read the short stories tales of the bounty hunters. They gave his past away in those books they said straight out that Slave I (Fetts ship) was designed by Fett and built by Kuat drive yards to his specifications. Yet what do we see in episode II? Slave I piloted by Jango Fett and lil Boba. What the fuck?!?!?!?!? I can’t stand it they took all those years of great written history (which I may add had to be approved by lucas films) and tossed it all aside to make room for all this new shit that if you pay attention and read the comics and books doesn’t make a lick of freaking sense!

Yeah I know I’m a geek so what? Probably the only comic to film translations I like are…the Punisher (Thomas Jane version not Dulph Lundgren) V for Vendetta, the Crow (The first one with Brandon Lee not any of the pieces of shit that came after it) and Batman Begins. Even though I have a problem with Batman Begins in the fact that in the flash back when his folks get shot he was at an opera Faust or some such in the film. In the books it was a movie theater playing Mask of Zorro.

This is pivotal to the batman mythos, because when they were gunned down in crime alley (by Joe Chill not the fucking Joker damn you to hell Tim Burton!!) not fresh out of a back entrance to a theater. the Mask of Zorro coupled with the events of that night sent young lil Bruce Wayne on his path to become Batman. And I am scared as hell of the new Batman movie. I already know they fucked up the Joker. I got no problem with Heath Ledger playing Joker. Hell they should have done something like that first time around instead they got Jack Nicholson who had the mind set but not the body style. The problem lies in this new Joker is wearing makeup. Joker doesn’t wear makeup his face is that white his lips are that red (yeah he touches em up with lipstick to poison folks but his lips are blood red) and his hair is green. Instead in the new one they have a Ceaser Romero on acid look to the Joker. (For those not in the know Ceaser Romero played the Joker on the Batman live action T.V. Series with Adam West and Burt Ward) But they are counting on tragedy of the actors death to pull in the audiences and the sales, instead of concentrating on staying true to the source material. And the biggest insult of all they used “The Killing joke” as the inspiration for this new Joker. Read it and you will understand what I mean.

Oh I could go on and on about how many bad movies are made and how the new nightmare on elm street series is getting redone a la Rob Zombies Halloween treatment, but sans Robert Englund as Freddy Kruger.(fuck you Micheal bay and Platinum dunes for giving us that shit) Or how the Hellraiser franchise is being redone without Doug Bradly as Pinhead (how can you even consider that???) Not to mention in most films before the first five minutes are up I am usually leaning over to my pet telling her who did what to who and who lives and dies. Never mind I never saw the film before and to me it’s obvious but she hates it when I do that.

So call in the Movie SS, I am a member of an elite group of nerd the movie Nazi. A wasted childhood with my nose buried in books and comics and a memory recall for the most insignificant trivia out there. Mein Heil!!! LOL