Benefits of the lifestyle within a long term relationship.

I may have touched upon this in one of my past posts about why this all works for us. But I thought I would at least try to elaborate a bit on it, and in some cases perhaps repeat or reword myself..lol. As is known kitten and I will have been together a grand total of 6 years in March 4 of those dating or engaged, and the rest married. Damn does time fly…anyways, as has been stated we began this as a curiosity and mostly in the bedroom kink type play that slowly branched out and became a part of our lives and every day interactions with each other. We have had our ups and downs like any couple really, we have had our fights, and we are far from perfect. But we are perfect for each other I think.

In the progression of learning our way around this our chosen lifestyle we learned a great many things about each other and ourselves. We learned all the ins and outs of each other very quickly because we have always held to the rule communication is key. Sometimes admittedly it was like pulling teeth on either of our ends to get the other to openly talk but we did get there. We settled upon our dynamic with her as my full time slave/pet/sex toy/ whatever you want to call it..lol. Once we did so we found that so many little things that would be a problem in a vanilla relationship simply ceased to become an issue for us. Oh to be sure now and again some things popped up and we reverted to more husband and wife type roles but there was always the underlying factor of the Master/slave dynamic. She was bound by her desires and her choice to serve me and I am bound by my own choice and desire to Master over her. I have final say on what flys around here and what doesn’t. Now this does not mean I simply say..okay now this this and this need to be done and that is it! She does have feedback and I like to listen to her express herself and discuss what she thinks are good and bad points about what is on the table. In the end though my word with her is law.

Because of this it has cut back on a lot of useless bullshit and arguing. I’m not saying it eliminates it all  but it certainly does curtail it down to minimal flare ups and once something goes boom we are quick to fix it so that life can resume at a more ordered pace that we have become accustomed to with each other. She knows she is to discuss with me all that is on her mind regardless if ti is a fear, desire, want, need, requirement, or whimsical thought. She also knows I will listen and make whatever decision I must based on whatever she brings to my attention. Sometimes I have to force the issue as she is occasionally hesitant about bringing something up to me, but all in all she is pretty good at doing such. Likewise I bring up things across the board to get her feedback on and gage where she may be at on any given subject. In a normal relationship much of these things may be swept under the rug or perhaps not brought up at all, because of whatever issues or fears related to whatever topic it may be. But here because of the dynamic and open communication nothing is held back and no one worries about being judged so there is nothing to loose by bringing something forward.

We have had our flaws in all this to be sure, and as I said we are far from perfect. We make mistakes like everyone else. However I think the way we live and interact with each other within this dynamic serves to enable us to better deal with things once they come up. If for no other reason because unlike many relationships where you simply just go with the flow and wing it, there are pre existing rules and codes of conduct associated with how we interact. We both know them and live by them each and everyday so that it becomes automatic after a while, something that is almost reflexive, and in doing it that way we eliminate much of the normal everyday bullshit of a regular relationship. Oh we will always have our pit falls and make our mistakes, but we will get up quicker from them and learn from them a bit more swiftly because we know that if we simply follow our own rules on all this things can be back to normal fairly quickly. We are never going to be perfect people even with this dynamic in place, no one ever is. But we will learn and grow a bit faster because of it I feel. We will never know everything about our respective positions, or about each other, as each day we learn and grown and apply new things, but with that evolution we become more happy in the life style and dynamic we have chosen.